Tactful Self-promotion

In most facets of life, it is wiser to err on the side of moderation than to indulge in excess. The same

is true of the way we portray ourselves to others: confidence and self-assuredness, especially when grounded in a realistic appraisal of one’s own abilities and expertise, are admirable traits; on the other hand, cockiness, false modesty, and “humblebragging” tend to elicit disdain.

So, how can you project an air of confidence and proficiency without seeming arrogant? What is tactful self-promotion, and how does it differ from boastfulness?

Authenticity is key.

Human beings are by nature social animals, and consequently, our desire to engender a positive first impression profoundly influences our interactions. In situations where we have a significant stake in the outcome—like an investment funding pitch, or a first date with a person in whom we have a romantic interest—the motive to put our best foot forward is even stronger.

However, according to Harvard Business School professor Francesca Gino, our intuitions about the strategies most likely to impress the target of our self-promotional efforts are often misguided—namely, we tend to underestimate the value that others place on perceived authenticity. Studies conducted by Gino and her colleagues Ovul Sezer and Mike Norton suggest that humblebragging (for example, claiming in a job interview that your greatest weakness is a tendency to work too hard) is likely to instill an unsympathetic impression in others: the opposite of the desired outcome. Revealingly, their research found that the interviewers’ opinion of seemingly insincere humblebraggers was even less favourable than the same interviewers’ perception of chronic complainers.

Build relationships.

No one likes to feel used. Accordingly, it is important to approach other people as potential friends, allies, partners, and associates, and not merely as means to an end or targets of an impromptu sales pitch.

Introduce yourself by describing your profession and/or significant interests in about three seconds. (See “Perfecting Your Three-second Statement”.) In conversation with individuals to whom you hope to appeal, make use of open-ended questions (beginning with who, what, when, why, how) and listen attentively to their responses. Concentrate on ascertaining their wants, needs, and objectives. Then consider how you can contribute to the fulfillment thereof.

Add value.

You know what you do well, but your interlocutor may not. Specifically, prospective employers, investors, clients, or even potential romantic partners will be interested to know what you have to offer, and how they would benefit from becoming more acquainted with you.

If you feel you have a good understanding of the wants and needs of the individual to whom you hope to promote yourself, you are about halfway to your goal. At this point, rather than simply claiming to excel at X or Y (which can rub people the wrong way), an alternative technique is to recount an experience where your skills in a particular area served you well, or enabled you to overcome a challenge. A common saying in journalism circles is “show, don’t tell”, and for good reason: the facts often speak for themselves.

Rely on talking points rather than a fixed pitch.

This point should not be construed as denying the importance of a sound elevator pitch, but in real life, the context in which a conversation occurs informs its tone and content—and a rigid, memorized pitch may seem out-of-place. Therefore, it is worthwhile to have talking points in mind: pieces of knowledge or insight you can invoke that will offer people a better sense of who you are, your areas of skill, passion, and knowledge, and what you aim to accomplish. Stay abreast of news headlines too, especially items that are relevant to your areas of expertise, and be prepared to discuss at least two current events at social gatherings.

The ability to communicate those points effectively, while showing genuine interest in the people you meet, is the key to promoting yourself without sounding like a braggart or tawdry careerist.

Perfecting Your Three-second Statement

In their 2009 book Brand You: Turn Your Unique Talents into a Winning Formula.*, social scientists John Purkiss and David Royston-Lee discuss the concept of the three-second statement: a brief (usually one- or two-sentence) response to the question “What do you do?”

Often, people who pose this query expect to hear about your career and professional aspirations. But a three-second statement can communicate more than just what you do for a living—including aspects of your personality, and passions of yours that are unrelated to your vocation.

Why is it important?

Like an elevator pitch, the three-second statement is designed to convey information in a clear, concise form. It permits you to instantly connect with individuals whose interests are similar to your own, and can elicit further conversation and idea-sharing.

Imagine yourself at a typical social gathering, like a reception or mixer. Introductions at suchlike events are typically brief—often less than ten seconds—before the conversation drifts on to another topic. The next person you meet could lead you to a great opportunity, and it never hurts to make an endearing, memorable first impression. A succinct but informative description of yourself will help you achieve exactly that.

Keep the following principles in mind when crafting your three-second statement:

1.    What is your unique combination of attributes?

In addition to your primary job, do you have another hobby or side gig that you think may be of interest to people? What else are you passionate about?

Aim to list two items—for example, “I’m a venture capitalist and hobby photographer.” Or, “I’m an ophthalmologist and blues guitar player.”

Many people have similar professional training, and most of us cannot realistically claim to be the best or most qualified professional in our field. However, by highlighting interests, passions, and personal attributes aside from our day job, we can still stand out from the crowd.

2.    Tell your story.

After your three-second statement, your conversation partner will likely follow up on the item that most interests her (either your career or your hobby/side gig). You can then elaborate on the topic in question. You may find that it’s helpful to think in advance about how you would answer common follow-up questions, like: How long have you been doing X? What do you most enjoy/find most rewarding about it? What are some of the challenges involved?

3.    Keep business cards handy, and your website up-to-date.

If you strike up a conversation with someone who is keen to learn more about you or your work, but pressed for time (as many professionals are), you will find it’s helpful to have business cards close at hand. A frequently-updated website with a memorable, easy-to-spell URL likewise comes in handy for situations like these.

4.    Test your three-second statement on a trusted friend or family member.

           

Before you put your three-second statement into practice, you may want to seek feedback about it from a person you trust to offer constructive criticism. Perhaps that individual will suggest that the items you’ve chosen are too commonplace, or not sufficiently interesting or memorable. Or she may offer fresh ideas that hadn’t occurred to you.

5.    Honesty is the best policy.

Don’t even think about exaggerating your credentials. Odds are you will eventually come across an expert interlocutor who can call you out on even minor misrepresentations. Instead, strive to offer a realistic appraisal of your skills, talents, areas of specialization, and past accomplishments. This is another area in which the advice of a person you trust (see item 4. above) may prove useful.

*London: Artesian Publishing LLP, 2009.