In all
long-term relationships, including professional ones, interpersonal friction is
bound to arise. For many people, the natural (and comfortable) response to
confrontation is to avoid it entirely, but this is not always the most sensible
option. If you believe that a dispute may have an adverse impact on your
workplace, it is generally wiser to intervene early and decisively, before the
issue has time to fester.
That said,
conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. The same qualities that contribute to
individual professional success—like drive, ambition, creativity, and
self-confidence—can cause members of a team to butt heads on occasion. Knowing
how to manage this discord, and even channel it in a constructive direction, is
an indispensable leadership skill.
Keep the
following tips in mind:
Hear out all
sides before drawing any conclusions. If a
conversation is particularly heated, it may be useful to separate the parties
involved, allow each to articulate her own position and objectives, and make a
note of the key points each individual raises. Listen attentively, ask
open-ended questions, and avoid taking sides during this process. Once all
parties have had a chance to make their case, try to identify points of potential
compromise, as well as areas that appear irreconcilable. This will allow you to
map out workable solutions (and alternatives) that you can then discuss with
each of the adversaries.
Identify the
low-hanging fruit. Many conflicts are the product of
trivial disagreements, inadvertent miscommunications, or misunderstandings. By
listening carefully, you will be able to identify concerns that you can easily
address.
Keep your eye
on the ball. In emotionally potent situations, it’s easy to point
fingers. During an impassioned argument, there is a common tendency to bring up
the faults of one’s opponent, regardless of relevance to the matter at hand,
purely in order to score points or inflict damage. But senseless bickering will
only beget more of the same. In order to resolve a dispute favourably, maintain
an assiduous focus on the source of the disagreement, avoiding distractions and
ad hominem recriminations. If you
find two or more members of your team engaged in an acrimonious exchange, you
may find it useful to call a temporary ceasefire, and allow the contenders to
cool off, before gently directing them back to the heart of the matter.
Maintain a
sense of self-awareness if you become engaged in a conflict. This is another
area in which emotional intelligence comes in handy,
particularly an understanding of how your feelings affect you physically and
psychically. Self-awareness is a precondition for keeping one’s passions in
check at a stressful moment, which in turn is crucial for evaluating the facts
and claims in a dispute, reasoning, problem-solving, and negotiation.
Conflicts can
create opportunities, not just headaches. If approached
calmly and rationally, disputes can yield novel perspectives, ideas, and
solutions that may not have arisen in the absence of confrontation. When most
people hear the saying, “Two heads are better than one,” they imagine a
relationship that is largely collaborative and amicable. But real life tends to
be messier than what we envision in our minds’ eye!
The key is to
channel potentially antagonistic sentiments toward constructive goals. This can
best be achieved by listening, keeping the conversation as respectful as possible,
and focusing on concrete sources of disagreement and objectives, rather than
personal failings.
This point is
worthy of re-emphasis: if you believe an interpersonal issue is serious enough
to generate animosity or discomfort in the workplace, it is almost always
better to address it quickly and comprehensively, than to allow it to progress
and harden.
